Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
