How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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