i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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