the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
