Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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