They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
i think im in europe. pls send help
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize