I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
