Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
