Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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