I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
