What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
