just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
3 2 1 whiskey
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
