let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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