im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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