HIV tests are more positive than that guy
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
