3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
