I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Randomize
