Fuck appropriateness.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
