Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
