That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I believe in your delicious
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
send nudes
from the living room?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
