so that wasnt chicken after all
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
