i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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