no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
