I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Im part way to drunk.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Randomize
