Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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