the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
