I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
