what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
