Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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