Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize