just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize