Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
