...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
