Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize