Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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