the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
