She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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