In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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