Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize