Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
