Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
