i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
