...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
