You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
