What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
