Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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