Jerry, you need to find god
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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