I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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