I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize