I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
