Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
