She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
