This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
