I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
