Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
