But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
