Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
My sheets look like a crime scene.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Let's paint friendship bongs
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Randomize
