i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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