i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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