guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Randomize
