dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I enjoy the company of your penis
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
