im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
