My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
