I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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