Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
